I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize