Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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