So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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