If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
