"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
