the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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