Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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