He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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