That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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