Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
