I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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