I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
