After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
