Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize