I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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