There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
