i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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