if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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