There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
