Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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