Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
