we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
