Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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