I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
