he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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