so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
