Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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