I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
