By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
