Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
