you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
