Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
