4 words: hood of his car
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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