Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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