remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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