he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
