I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
