Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
