remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
