Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
