Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your penis caused this!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
