I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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