I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
