oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
