At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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