why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
