he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
