K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
