I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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