Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
