its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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