who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
