How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
