Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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