He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
