Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
