There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think i have herpe
just one?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize