and she was petting her beer can
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
