idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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