She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
