Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
