So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
