he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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