Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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