You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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