u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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